Apathetic
by ademonsangel-13
Summary: I can't seem to find the words. Never have and I don't think I can still. Damn my years of being a Viking. DenNor Norway's POV. T for cursing and implied Yaoi


Again…I called him an idiot…

Well, it's not like he isn't an idiot. He really is. But I just wish he wasn't so idiotic at times.

And I wish wasn't so…how do I put it?

Apathetic…

Okay okay. I'm not carless or emotionless, ignoring what some people say. I just grew wise in my years, keeping my emotions to myself. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve like he does.

Mathias…That crazy idiot…

Why is it that every time I see him, my heart almost jumps out of my chest? Why is it when he speaks to me, I lose my breath and can't say anything other than "idiot" or "you're annoying"?

I shiver and shove my hands into my jean pockets. Even if it's summer in Oslo…the rain makes it cold.

It doesn't help that the rejected look on Mathias's face sent a freezing chill throughout my whole body. And it hurt to see that.

Damnit! Why must he be oblivious when I try to show my feelings and be clear-headed when I get frustrated? Idiot…

Sve and Finn always told me to just be blunt.

"Berwald isn't afraid to tell me he loves me," Tino told me once, "Just let your heart speak for you."

The thing is…my heart is locked with chains and thorns. Locked away in a place I was unsure I could reach ever again. It's been centuries since I last…smiled.

I wish I could tell him how much I do care for him. But every time I try…I call him an idiot. I haven't smiled since before the Kalmar Union. So even if I say something even close to "I like you" it's hard to believe it.

The rain soaks through my shirts, clinging to my skin. I looked around, seeing very few people out and under umbrellas.

If anybody is an idiot…it's me…

But sadly, my pride won't let me admit it…or get out of the rain. Old Viking habits die hard I guess. I always stood out in the rain when he would drive me up the wall with his obliviousness. And it would take his idiot self and carefree smiles to coax me back inside.

I turn back to look behind me…nothing…

There was no cry from him…no crazy Dane chasing after me and calling my pet names that I secretly love.

Maybe I finally ran him off…

I ignore the strange looks I get when I sit on the curb. The rain is still cold…but this is nothing compared to those lonely winter nights here.

I lost track of time under the rain…just thinking.

"Norgie!"

I looked around, searching for the source of the voice calling out THAT name.

To my surprise, there was my special idiot running through the rain to me. My chest tightened and breath suddenly leaves me. Damn…why now?

"Lukie!" he cried again when he got closer.

"What do you want?" I asked…more like mumbled when he came to a stop beside me.

"You'll get yourself sick!" Mathias gasped as he hooked a hand under my arm and pulled me to my feet, "And Norway almost never gets sick! Good God! You're soaked!"

"Well…" I sighed, "That's what happens when you walking in the rain for a little while."

"Lukie," Mathias cried, "You've been gone for several hours! I was worried sick about you!"

"I was fine…" I started to reply until suddenly he wrapped his arms around me tightly. Suddenly my whole world came at a standstill. Mathias was holding me…hugging me…tightly… "Wh-wh-what are you doing?"

"You shivered," he replied softly into my ear, "You're being an idiot for running and staying out in the rain."

I bit my lip for a moment. "I always did it before and you never said that."

"Well, you are an idiot for doing this," Mathias muttered softly, "Why did you do it?"

"I was angry," I said plainly, "Like I do every time. This time is no different."

"Yes it is, this time you aren't mad at me…"

I looked up at my idiot Dane with wide eyes. "Wh-what?"

"You aren't mad at me this time…at least I wasn't the main reason you ran out of dinner like that."

I was bewildered. For once the idiot saw through my mask. "Of all the times to be observant…you choose now…"

Mathias laughed softly. "I'm just waiting for you to say how much you love this awesome Viking man."

I tensed. Dammit! Why can't the words just come to me? Just say them, Norge!

Feeling his body pressed against me…under the rain… It reminded me of when we were younger…back during the Denmark-Norway Union when it was just us taking care of Iceland. Just out of random for no reason at all he would hug me and hold me close.

Such a simple life we lived. I enjoyed it when Mathias would hug me and kiss my cheek…even if I didn't show it.

"Do you love me, Norgie?" Mathias asked.

I couldn't speak; the words just couldn't come to me. I'm going to mess up again and lose him again and run out in the rain every time I get pissed off again. Dammit Norway, just speak your mind for once!

I didn't even realize I mumbled something until I saw Mathias looked at me confused. "Did you say something, Norgie?"

"I said…don't give up on me…"

I was completely shocked by myself. Why did I say that?

"Don't give up on you…?"

"Yes, Denmark…don't give up on me." I pulled his head down to my chest, which made my heart slam harder against my ribs. "I…can't say the words…just…don't give up on me. Okay?"

I didn't know what he would do as he just stood there, watching me with those beautiful blue eyes, those eyes that I feel in love with back when we were just teenagers, young Vikings without a care in the world.

Suddenly, I felt him wrap his arms around me, straightening his back so this time MY head was pressed against his chest. I stilled, feeling his strong heart hammer. "This Viking never gave up before, and I won't start now." He tilted away, grabbing my chin and lifting my face to meet his eyes. My body completely froze, unable to make a move. "Jeg elsker deg."

Then, I felt his lips on mine, soft, gentle, loving.


End file.
